Bipolar

Sometimes I identify myself as a bipolar person.

I am fine and I am not fine at the same time.

No I am not diagnosed with anything in particular.

But sometimes, reading stuffs on the internet makes me feel like I am a sick person.

Too many mental diseases I am suffering from.

I'm sane. The above is metaphorical. Or is it?

I can't be sure of what I want. Who I am.

I only know who I was.

I miss him but I can't do anything about it.

Losing so many things changed me quite.

Sometimes I would like to think I am a different person, even in a bad way.

But I am the same shit I was years and years ago.

Only the good things about me are losing bit by bit.

The bad stuffs remains. Increasing, even.

Why?

I think I know why.

But I'm to scared to admit it.

Yet I feel the burden is gonna be lifted one day.

Maybe when I die, I can stop worrying.

So I will try to live as for now.

For I don't know when is the time I'll be free.

Will I be safe? Will I be saved? Will I ever be?

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