Good night sleep

Oh it's been a while since I write stuff here. You must think I'm sleeping well past these days and night. Actually, nope you're wrong.

I'm so wide awake at night and I'm turning nocturnal.

I just do some other stuff rather than writing. I have a lot in mind. So many things to spill. So many stuff to tell. But sadly, most of them are somewhat confidential (what???) and I just can't let those things out yet.

They mess with my head from inside. I'm going crazy soon. How soon? Never thought about that, yet. I wish I will be a sane crazy person. This type of person exist. He is a normal person with crazy traits. But he is obliged. No compromise.

He lives, thinking all the crazy things in mind, believing he is crazy but he is weighed with things sane people does.

Oh it sounds no fun. I change my mind. 

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Worrying

I wonder how can I stop worrying about stuff that I shouldn't be worrying. I wanna worry about some cool stuff that is worth it.

I just couldn't.

I keep on being worried by some trivial matters that are not... good enough to be the cause of worrying?

Oh this is just too much of a stress. See? I'm worrying about this thing? How worthless is that?

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Idea

Because my idea is not good enough. I want to think the simplest way to help myself. Then I come out with one simplest thing I can think.

But then the answer is no.

Dear, if you can't help, or don't want to help I presume, please don't say the "How can I help you?" crap.

Because when you want to help me then I say what help I would require, then your answer is no, simply because the way you wanna help me is different, or you just wanna pity me or whatsoever...

That generous offer of yours to help me shouldn't start. It is easier if you just believe me when I say I can handle it rather than asking questions.

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Why...

...we keep holding on to something that makes us feel pain in the first place?

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